


Motherland

by Chibi-Pez



Category: Utena
Genre: Drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2003-11-12
Updated: 2009-03-19
Packaged: 2013-05-23 22:21:50
Rating: T
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,981
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1598274/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3721/Chibi-Pez
Summary: One-shots. WIP





	1. This House is on Fire

Author's Notes: So I've been listening to Natalie Merchant a lot lately, especially her Motherland CD. The idea to use it kinda struck me one day. So I am. AND! I plan to finish this one.  
  
Oh yeah, by the way, this is for Foonhead. Yeah you, you silly person you. Why? cause you killed Superpez, you Foonhead. ^_~  
  
-------------  
Motherland  
Rating: PG-13 for now  
-------------  
  
  
_This house is on fire!  
Kick off your boots, come sit a spell.  
Listen to me worry, come and listen well.  
All you better best come and lean in boys, I don't dare raise my voice.  
I've been sitting here for the longest time reading all the warning and the danger signs.  
I don't have the gift of the prophecy, telling everybody how it's going to be._   
  
The stars made the flames look so very romantic, almost intoxicating, so she stood there  
and watched her greatest achievement proudly. The scent of roses intermingled with the  
smoke. It symbolized the beginning of a new life, a new era, a time where she will no longer  
be chased by the past. It was now a time where He had no control over anyone. A truly  
joyful occasion.  
  
  
_Soon come, soon come the day this tinderbox is gonna blow in your face.  
I don't have the gift of the prophesy, telling everybody how it's going to be.  
You go passing wrong for right and right for wrong  
People only stand for that for just so long._  
  
  
It began to get colder out, forcing her to pull her jacket closer. It was odd actually.  
Even though her common sense was kicking in, telling her to find a place to stay, the  
burning buildings still held a strong grip on her, urging her to walk towards the flames.  
Shaking her head as if to clear it she took a step backwards, defying the call.  
  
It would be ruins soon and the grip will be gone.  
  
  
_It's all gonna catch like a house on fire, spark an evil blaze and burn higher.  
Well, I don't have the gift of the prophesy, telling everybody how it's going to be.  
You go passing wrong for right and right for wrong  
People only stand for that for just so long._  
  
  
With a deep breath she turned around and began to walk away. The day's excitement was  
beginning to wear off and she was starting to feel the fatigue kick in. Yet she would not  
complain. It was a self gratifying feeling in its own way. It wasn't as if she had never  
felt fatigue like this before, oh no. She had been physically and mentally exhausted several  
times in the past couple of weeks, let alone the last couple of months. Yet those were for  
reasons she did not want to think off.  
  
In fact she decided right then and there that she was going to ignore the memories that she  
held of the place. People, places, events...it would all be gone after tonight. The rare  
thing or two that she would keep in both mind and heart were forever gone, due to this  
now ruined place. But she more than made up for their losses.  
  
  
_I don't have the gift of the prophesy, telling everybody how it's going to be.  
There's a wild fire catching in the whip of the wind  
That could start a conflagration like there has never been.  
This house is on fire!_  
  
  
Ohtori Academy lay in ruins, the flames making it look like the Hell it truly was. 


	2. Motherland

_Where in the hell can you go far from the things that you know  
Far from the sprawl of concrete that keeps crawling its way about 1,000 miles a day?  
_   
  
As Utena walked off down the road, letting the sound of her sneakers hitting the pavement   
bring her to a zoned out state, her mind lingered on something someone had told her once.   
_"Take one last look behind, commit this to memory and mind. Don't miss this wasteland,  
this terrible place. When you leave keep your heart off your sleeve."_ In her mind  
truer words could not be spoken.  
  
They all knew Ohtori was a horrible place, but they stayed. Each had their own twisted  
reasons to continue at the elite academy and she was no different. She could have left.  
From the very beginning she had the choice to leave it all behind her and she was going to!  
Oh how she was going to. She had thought it through and was set to do it.  
  
She was challenged.  
  
She prepaired to lose.  
  
They dueled.  
  
She won.  
  
Why? Why after saying she would lose, did she win? It wasn't for Her. No, it was for him.  
Utena didn't want him to be treated rudely. So she told herself and Her and the time.   
  
Though she was given a second chance to leave it all behind, after having the responcibility  
of the duels taken away from her, she made her position concrete.  
  
She challenged  
  
They dueled.  
  
She won.  
  
Why did she attempt to go back? It wasn't him this time, it was Her. She was her twisted  
reason to stay, no matter what she tried to say otherwise.   
  
  
----   
  
  
_Motherland cradle me, close my eyes, lullaby me to sleep._   
  
  
It bugged her. Everything bugged her. Why was she allowing herself to be pulled into the  
game deeper? Why did she let Touga get to her so much? True she was shocked at such princely  
claims, but what got her the most was the waning desire for her prince she now felt.  
  
Utena rolled onto her back on her top bunk and clasped her hands behind her head with a sigh.  
Everything was confusing and it was only eighth grade! She feared what nineth grade would bring.  
Though she did know that she would like her close friend there whenever her nineth grade troubles  
began.  
  
"Anthy?" She asked quietly, not expecting a reply this late at night. "You awake?"  
  
A ruffling of sheets and a stiffled yawn proved her wrong. A questioning yes was the sleepy  
reply. "Sorry, did I wake you?"  
  
"No, it's alright." A lie probably, but Utena was not going to object to what Anthy said  
this late at night.  
  
"I..." Utena paused for a moment, not sure what to actually say. What was it she wanted to say  
anyways? She followed the plaster swirls on the ceiling in thought, almost able to feel Anthy's  
eyes on the bottom of her bunk.  
  
"Is there something wrong?"  
  
Utena thought for a second on that. No, nothing was wrong at the exact second, but a lot of  
things were wrong, in her opinion. Yet, this moment they shared wasn't one of those things.   
  
"Keep me safe, lie with me, stay beside me don't go. Don't you go," Utena said softly   
after another brief moment, not really intending for Anthy to hear.  
  
"What did you say Ms. Utena?"  
  
"Er...nothing Anthy. Just rambling. Actually just forget I said anything to begin with."  
  
"...Oh..." A pause. "Goodnight Ms. Utena."  
  
"Goodnight Anthy."   
  
  
----   
  
  
"Oh, my five dime queen tell me what have you seen? The lust and the avarice, the bottomless,  
cavernous greed, is that what you see?"  
  
They both sat at the table, each with a cup of tea. Utena idly stired the contents of her cup  
while waiting for her answer. She did admitt it was a fairly odd question to ask so early in  
the morning, but it was the first thing to come to mind and she never was the best at breaking  
uncomfortable silences.  
  
"I don't think I understand." Anthy took a sip of her tea.  
  
Utena stopped stiring her drink. "What have you seen during your life?"  
  
Green eyes looked at the tea, as if it would bring back memories or give her the answer. "I've  
seen many things. It's a part of being the Rose Bride. I may serve but I am also to observe.  
In a way, I choose to I guess."  
  
"Oh?" A nod. "So you've seen many things?"  
  
"Everything."   
  
  
----   
  
  
_Motherland cradle me, close my eyes, lullaby me to sleep. Keep me safe, lie with me, stay beside me don't go._   
  
  
Utena stood in her pyjamas, prepairing to climb up to her bunk as a thought struck her. She  
looked at her roommate, sitting on her bed, playing with Chuchu. "Um..Anthy?"  
  
Both Anthy and Chuchu looked over at her.  
  
"It's your happiness I want most of all and for that I'd do anything at all. If you want  
the best of it or the most of all, if there's anything I can do at all..."  
  
"I'll remember that Ms. Utena. Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome." With that Utena climbed up into her bunk.   
  
  
_ Now come on shot gun bride what makes me envy your life?  
Faceless, nameless, innocent, blameless and free, what's that like to be?  
  
Motherland cradle me, close my eyes, lullaby me to sleep.  
Keep me safe, lie with me, stay beside me don't go.  
Don't go._


	3. Saint Judas

_Saddle up the horses and wear your Sunday best.  
Sing your Sacred Harp, you be holier than the rest._  
  
Ohtori, Akio buttoned up his shirt. He was in a particularly good mood.  
He had only one more to convince again. Plans were back in motion, he was  
still on top, and his sister should be returning home soon. All was going  
as he wanted it to.  
  
_Fill up the room with a grand and thunderous song  
Let it rattle out the windows, let it spill out on the lawn._  
  
Akio had made his way to his car and started the engine. The hunt was soon  
to be on.   
  
_Shout, shout your praises to the man who kissed the Lord  
To the back stabbing brother that betrayed all of this world, your Judas!_  
  
The others had been easy to convince overall. The toughest one had been the  
panther. Words alone had not swayed her mind, he was forced to 'other means'  
to get her to side with him. Akio had to find a way to break her conscious  
and soul to do so though.  
  
He smiled at the memories.  
  
_Yea, though you may walk in the valley in the dark  
There's no greater evil than the darkness in your heart with your stun guns  
Bloodhounds, needle and your razor wire  
Your nylon shackle whipping post and your high tech burning tire, your Judas!_  
  
  
---   
  
  
_Whiplash crack across the back, across the arms and although you bound his feet  
He running fast he running hard_  
  
Miki ran for all his worth. He was not the fastest runner, but he didn't care.  
He just wanted to make it, he didn't want to be caught. He didn't want to do   
it all over again. He just wanted a normal life!  
  
Apparently there is no such thing as normal in Ohtori.  
  
_Through them crickets in the corn and them horses in the field.  
Hear the "caw, caw" of the crows._  
  
The quad was unusually full of people this late at night. Being forced to push  
his way through the crowd slowed Miki down considerably. He could hear them   
commenting on his weird behavior. One girl even asked him what was wrong.   
  
What was wrong?! Couldn't they hear it? Couldn't they see it? Couldn't they  
see why he was running? The red behemouth. The very devil Himself. Were  
they blind?!  
  
It was obvious they were, but Miki didn't really blame them. It was better to  
be blind in Ohtori, than have vision and be cursed.  
  
  
---   
  
  
_See the devil at the wheel y'all, Judas!_  
  
The coolness of the stone sent chills up his spine. He was cornered, squinting  
at the blinding headlights. Miki slid down to the ground, giving up. There was  
nothing left he could do. He hanged his head in defeat, panting to catch his breath.  
  
"Now, now Mr. Kaoru, that's no way to act." The voice was exotic and intoxicating,  
almost disarming.  
  
"Now I believe we have some business to discuss..."  
  
_Go on down to Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Kentucky,  
Florida, Louisiana and Tennessee, Georgia, Carolina, Carolina._


	4. Put The Law On You

_Do I have to put the law on you baby_

_For all the wicked things you do? _

_Am I gonna have to put the law on you baby?_

_That was not what I wanted to do_

Originally she started to pursue to him because of all the attention he had given Her. It wasn't right for Her to receive all the attention. What did She have that she didn't? They were both pretty, they where both outgoing (at the time), and they both spent time with him. All three laughed and talked and planned where they would all be years from now...

It had to be the fencing. It just had to be. She had the unfair advantage of that physical contact, that raw fluid emotion between the two, battling for points. The _thrusts, _the _jerks_, the _intimacy _of studying your opponent. They might as well have been having sex right in front of her!

So she had to do something. She just had to.

_Do I have to put the law on you baby_

_To try and make you come out clean for every evil deed? _

_You're just about the lowest and the dirtiest thing_

_I've ever seen_

She had heard the rumors when the locket first appeared. That he was inside it. She asked her once what was inside it, all the while sitting on his lap. _Is it a family member?_ She asked. No was the answer. _Is it a lock of hair?_ She asked. No was again the answer. _Is it a friend? _She asked. A pause. No was the answer. _Is it a lover? _She asked. Silence was the answer. _So a lover! _She exclaimed. No...not a lover...was the answer, all while She was holding it close, grasped firmly in her hand, as if those long, thin, calloused fingers could hold the precious secret inside.

It was two days after the questioning, sneaking into the locker room while She showered, when she got the answer. Staring at the picture inside the open locket she felt her stomach retch. How could She! How dare She! To think she considered Her a friend at one time!

She heard the shower turn off. Dropping the vile object to the floor she ran out of the locker room. She went home to shower. She felt violated, dirty, and used. To think She thought of her...no, no. She didn't want to actually know what She thought of her or how She thought of her.

She would get Her back for this.

_Did you really think you could pull it off_

_The perfect crime, crime of the heart? _

_Do you really think that you'll get away_

_Do the crime and never ever pay? _

Originally she started to pursue to him because of all the attention he had given Her. Now her reason was different. It was to prove to Her that she will never be Hers. It would be her silent war against Her. She will let Her sit and suffer. She will bend Her to her needs. She will play Her like she had played him.

_Do I have to put the law out on you baby_

_Lock you up and throw away the key_

_For the countless counts of low down double-cross you've been about _

_Have you no decency? _

After he was gone she had to find a new way to fight her war. Over the years this had become her main past time. Every time She could possibly find something or someone to occupy Her time with she started to play Her. _Can you come over to help with this project? You have a good eye for fashion...how does this look? _

_You... You... You....Me...Me....__**Mine**__..._

She would always just clasp the locket and sigh.

_Did you really think that you could pull it off_

_The perfect crime, crime of the heart? _

_Did you really think that you'll get away_

_Escape my justice until your dying day? _

There was one afternoon, after the transfer to the prestigious academy (both had gone..she wouldn't let Her leave alone) where She had the courage to say no.

No? She asked. No, I can't help you today was the answer. She drew in closer. No? She asked again, this time leaning in closer to Her ear, lips barely touching strands of hair. ...No...I have something else to do...was the strained answer. She played with Her shoulders, Her upper arm, Her neck. Are you sure? She asked, this time it seemed a little closer, her voice a little quieter, a little more _needing_. You haven't even heard my request...

_Though you made it clear from the very start_

_There was no trusting you with my foolish heart_

_Though you maybe made it clear that didn't make it right _

Was is it that you want? She asked.

He had handed her the ring that afternoon they arrived. He asked her to do him a favor. He was beautiful and she couldn't say no.

If she couldn't say no, then She couldn't say no.

She played with the clasp of the chain, the cold addition sliding down to rest with the locket.

Prove to me. She said. Prove to me miracles do exist.

The next day She joined the games.

_Do you really think you'll get away? _

_You can't escape my justice 'til my dying day_


End file.
